Woman

I’ve looked in the mirror and have seen manyfaces. 

Sometimes my eyes were a chocolate brown and other timea clear shade of honey.

My hair has changed, from long to short, with bangs orslicked back.

My outfits have evolved; from flannel pj’s to a low cutblouse.

My lips have been red, pink, nude or glossed.

My eyes have sometimes looked straight into me, whileother moments a blur has appeared.

Some days I look and see that young girl that believedin the illusion and fantasies of life …

While other days I see the life that has lived withinme. The amount of suffering my heart has ached.

Nights have shown the laughter and the glee that I havefelt.

The excitement of meeting the love of your life, or theperfect evening with amazing friends.

Mornings can reflect the long night or even the gift ofa new brand new day.

After all the reflections I have been able to see, Ifeel one element has always been the same…

The woman in me is alive and thriving, even when themess is so eloquently splattered.

She lives and breathes every breath inside.

She understands the beauty of the aches, the illusionsthat we create.

She is there behind my hazel eyes in times when theywant to turn blue.

She comprehends the pains, the struggles and the helpsme fight the good fight.

I’m neither one reflection nor the other; I’m all ofthem, on every single day.

I am not defined by the darkness, but rather the lightthat sparkles from deep inside.

My worth is valued not by a man, nor a career; or evenmy past.

 It is knowing that I can be all, and none of thosethings; some days all at once.

 She is Me, and I am Her.

 Now that is truly a sight.

Written by Marisol Graciela

Evolution

Once it happens


It is too late to go back

It is like an earthquake


All the planning- yet never truly prepared

You cry


You sleep


Only to wake up to feel it all over again

You pray for silence


You wish it would die



You wash your past with vodka and wine


You question whether you could be that girl, once again


Lovers come back


You begin to question the remains

You turn right- you look left


You end up at the opposite side

When change appears


When the lights shine bright


It is hard to remember the darkness inside


A new pair of lips


A new kind of peace


The way he listens, when you speak


His hand gently on your hips


It is amazing how you forget the simplest things


The most beautiful changes are those least expected


When all you need is a glimpse of life

It shines so bright


So lovely- indeed


It is hard not to feel blessed

So happy inside


An evolution has brightened its colors into the soul

It lives so beautifully in my core

I can’t help but feel like maybe today is the most beautiful day in the world.

Written by Marisol Graciela

Darkness meets Light

Darkness.

The bleakness haunts me.

The ache.

Oh the utter ache.

My breath begins to race and my heart doesn’t break…

Because it is already broken.

My eyes begin to swell.

I instinctively fight it.

I try to remember that I am in the letting go.

Tears fall down my cheeks, perfectly down the creases that seems to have to be created by them.

I open my eyes.

I see light.

I feel like a pink pair of socks; happy and warm.

I smile.

The dark and the light have met.

They became one.

I am.

Written by Marisol Graciela

Let there be Truth

So here it goes. 

The blog that is in my head.  

It has been an interesting year for me.  You know that feeling of absolute bliss, where your body screams with delight, you are smiling so hard that you can almost cry.. Well that is how I feel... and there is the feeling like I am crumbling and any movement will break me into a million pieces.  

I have been depressed pretty much my whole life. It is stupid. So, so stupid.  I wasn't diagnosed until a few years ago and I have been on and off medication, which I absolutely hate.  (and yes I know depression is not really stupid.. it is just a how i feel sometimes). 

I have written a book on how depression affected me, and I can not bring myself to open it. 

So I have done all the things that make you forget less and yet I always come back to this very place. Instead of playing the game of ring-a-round the fucking rosies, I have been in attempts to shake it's dirty little hand and make an event of it.  

The outcome has been... well, in all honesty, painful.  It is dark and sometimes I want to give up. But the event continues on..

In all this I have somehow fallen in absolute Love with a Man that has never let me fall all the way down the rabbit hole.  He listens and never judges, and with that I am reminded of how strong I am and how I can get through it.. 

In the process I know for a fact that talking about it, in my own way, will heal me and I will be OK.. and that the bliss I feel in my Heart will only get better and that the aches will not ever go away but I will be a better navigator. 

That is all for tonight. Thank you for listening.

Hi~

Ever since I was a little girl, I have understood the wide range of life.  I have seen and felt what Love is, and what it is not.  I have always been so afraid of the aches and the darkness; there was a shame I could never really embrace.  I have also experienced countless amounts of joys and bliss that I will eternally keep me smiling.

This blog is my Truth. It is my raw self with all its layers.  I want to explore and continue to seek new perspectives, as well as feel 100% okay with the ME that I am today.  

I am here for me.. but in a way would love to be a tool for you too; to share and explore the dark and glow in our light.  

I can't wait to see what adventures we may find! Be true, love always.  

"Light and shawdow by turns- but always Love"