2013 has been a year filled with challenges. The usual response when one hear the word challenge, you think oh no! But for me a challenge is a blessing. This past year I have been pushed into walls (figuratively, haha), fallen down so many times, and have been pushed to look at things that made me shake with fear. I can't say I've had a harder emotional year but I will say that it has been the most giving year of my Life.
The challenges forced me to grow and to look at parts if myself that needed light. The dark parts are what I have embraced much more gracefully and it it those parts of me that I am choosing to Love and to talk with.
I remember going to my first hot yoga class this year and feeling absolutely broken. I was terrified my Dad was going to die any moment and had said things to people I never thought I would be strong enough to do.. If I had to use one word to describe 2013 it would be Confrontation. This is something I was not good at nor comfortable with but there was literally no way around it; this was my moment. I cried and was anxious but I spoke and I said my truth. My voice was heard and in the end it never really mattered what the response was.. It was merely the act of speaking and standing up for myself that mattered.
Walking through life a bit tattered and broken I felt liberated. I felt free. I felt like I was able to be who I wanted. I didn't have to be happy and joyful all the time. I was sad and disappointed and that was okay. I sat in my space and stopped judging myself so harshly. I allowed myself to be human and to bleed. In the bleeding... I came alive.
I found a new way to find relief, and that was through acceptance and in a magical journey I went to get a healing and ended up discovering my passion and my Destiny. I don't feel like this was accidental, I know Reiki and realizing I'm a Healer was part of my journey. I never knew what I was 'supposed' to do but now I know it it not a knowing, it's a feeling. I feel in all my being that my struggles, my darkness, my curiously in the human connections and all the little moments that change you.. I'm meant to be part of the healing. I want nothing more than to help others and to hopefully one day help just one person that their darkness is beautiful and there to shed light.
I've never been a sheep in the crowd, I've always wanted to go my way and see things in new perspective. I never truly accepted that until this year. I embrace that and never want to be somewhere or feel something, simply because that's what I'm supposed to do. I live with intention and am genuine. I will no longer fake an emotion just to please anyone.
I've been challenged and although I'm a little tired, I can say that I've been blessed. I've pushed myself and now a new year is here and I'm not afraid... Well that's not true I'm a little anxious but i know that if you smell fear, you're close to a great discovery. So I hope that this year continues to bigger discoveries!
If you read this, thank you for taking the time, I appreciate it. May your 2014 be a year with Love and Truth. And if you're inspired tell me about your 2013 in review! I would love to hear your story.
“Your life is a sacred journey. It is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path… exactly where you are meant to be right now… And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love.” ~ by Caroline Adams