The Sun

There was a time not long ago that I believed telling the full story of the occurrences in my life were necessary. And although I still believe the absolute truth is the only way a persons heart and soul can achieve healing in its highest form is necessary.. I have adjusted my thinking.  

Our truth is powerful and holds deep rooted emotions. I've come to realize that the story that I've continued to tell myself is no longer the most important part.. It is the feelings that have formed; the after..  It is in the storm that I mustn't fight to stand up. It is in the blow I must fall with the wind.. I must bow down and accept. I must kiss the floor in my bare feet, naked and free. 

If the pain did not kill me then, well it is absolutely not going to kill me now. It is in my bareness, my vulnerable soul I can say for I am not weak for falling down. I am a warrior. I bleed openly and willingly towards my path.

I bleed. 

I inhale. 

I exhale. 

I will not carry you with me anymore. 

I leave you here with love and gratitude. 

Lessons learned and tornadoes created.. I leave you in your storm; the sun, the sweet sweet Sun is calling me in. 

Written by Marisol Graciela 

 

Life

Dreaming of a new way of life.

Breathing in a new form of air.

Believing all the wondrous possibilities, in your exhale.

When we sleep our dreams appear.

When we wake, they can sometimes feel a world away.

Inhale.

Hold it.

Exhale.

Release.

Fasten your seat belt, life is zooming by!

Blink too much and the moment has died.

Our hair will turn gray.

Our bodies will one day let us down.

The wrinkles will continue to form.

Laugh too much.

Cry when you feel it.

Embrace the You, so gracefully given.

Take pictures.

Listen to music.

Hug your Mom, and your Dad.

Kiss your babies.

Make love under the stars.

Skip through the salty sand.

Smell pumpkin pie.

See a sunset, watch it rise.

Love with intention.

Say sorry. You never know what affect your words may have.

Say please and thank you, it can never be enough.

Wish for the best.

Hope for beauty, the kind you feel inside.

Have faith in this beautiful life.

Written by Marisol Graciela

2013 in Review

2013 has been a year filled with challenges. The usual response when one hear the word challenge, you think oh no! But for me a challenge is a blessing. This past year I have been pushed into walls (figuratively, haha), fallen down so many times, and have been pushed to look at things that made me shake with fear. I can't say I've had a harder emotional year but I will say that it has been the most giving year of my Life. 

The challenges forced me to grow and to look at parts if myself that needed light. The dark parts are what I have embraced much more gracefully and it it those parts of me that I am choosing to Love and to talk with. 

I remember going to my first hot yoga class this year and feeling absolutely broken. I was terrified my Dad was going to die any moment and had said things to people I never thought I would be strong enough to do.. If I had to use one word to describe 2013 it would be Confrontation. This is something I was not good at nor comfortable with but there was literally no way around it; this was my moment. I cried and was anxious but I spoke and I said my truth. My voice was heard and in the end it never really mattered what the response was.. It was merely the act of speaking and standing up for myself that mattered. 

Walking through life a bit tattered and broken I felt liberated. I felt free. I felt like I was able to be who I wanted. I didn't have to be happy and joyful all the time. I was sad and disappointed and that was okay. I sat in my space and stopped judging myself so harshly. I allowed myself to be human and to bleed. In the bleeding... I came alive. 

I found a new way to find relief, and that was through acceptance and in a magical journey I went to get a healing and ended up discovering my passion and my Destiny. I don't feel like this was accidental, I know Reiki and realizing I'm a Healer was part of my journey. I never knew what I was 'supposed' to do but now I know it it not a knowing, it's a feeling. I feel in all my being that my struggles, my darkness, my curiously in the human connections and all the little moments that change you.. I'm meant to be part of the healing. I want nothing more than to help others and to hopefully one day help just one person that their darkness is beautiful and there to shed light. 

I've never been a sheep in the crowd, I've always wanted to go my way and see things in new perspective. I never truly accepted that until this year.  I embrace that and never want to be somewhere or feel something, simply because that's what I'm supposed to do. I live with intention and am genuine. I will no longer fake an emotion just to please anyone. 

I've been challenged and although I'm a little tired, I can say that I've been blessed. I've pushed myself and now a new year is here and I'm not afraid... Well that's not true I'm a little anxious but i know that if you smell fear, you're close to a great discovery. So I hope that this year continues to bigger discoveries! 

If you read this, thank you for taking the time, I appreciate it. May your 2014 be a year with Love and Truth. And if you're inspired tell me about your 2013 in review! I would love to hear your story. 

“Your life is a sacred journey. It is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous challenges at every step along the way. You are on the path… exactly where you are meant to be right now… And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, of beauty, of wisdom, of power, of dignity, and of love.” ~ by Caroline Adams

Gift

I lay.

I wonder why life is so full of sadness and loss.

Death is near. Always so near.


I lay.

I see Love evolve all around me with such grace.

Blessed. This I feel. So incredibly blessed.



Letting love in, letting it go.

The yin and the yang.

How can we feel so heavy and light all at once.



Breathe.

Love and be loved, for this is THE greatest gift of All. 

Inhaled

Generally my poems are written in minutes. I do not think about it, it kind of just appears on the paper. I wrote this when I felt like I was going into my dark abyss. It is not a great place, but it's also where I gain my strength and ever so gracefully where I am ambushed by Light and Love. It reminds me of dusk, when dark meets light.



Inhaled 

When it calls
There's nowhere to hide

I can only stand for so long
I collapse

I'm taken

The cave inhales me
Leaving me with no breath

The fight is too much
The tears just fall

No longer can I be me
For he has won

I stay a while
Then finally say goodbye

Knowing, so, so knowing
I will be inhaled once more. 


Written by Marisol Graciela 

A Classic.

I wrote this a few years ago about my Grandfather. I was always curious about his life and thoughts. His sadness remained a mystery until his death and that hurts me. I would have loved to have acknowledged him more. I feel his presence often, mostly when I am on vacation. I feel like he was an adventurous soul and when I hear classical music I smile.  Enjoy. 

A Classic, Remembered.

Christmas season was always my favorite time of the year. The tree would be up and presents overflowed.

More importantly the whole family would be together. Abuelito always seemed to be in the background, but his presence was always near.

Beethoven was always on; I mimicked him and went to sleep to all the classics playing gently in my ear.

While everyone was talking, gossiping of all the current events, he always found the best spot in the house.

With a book in hand, he ventured to distant lands. He spoke of great men, of minds that knew so much before their time.

I would watch him, ever so discreetly, trying to sneak into the hidden world.

I remember sitting with him, too young to know how to read, but I would pretend I was reading, just to be near.

We sat in silence, elbow-to-elbow, piano playing melancholy melodies, my heart so utterly content to live in this world.

I always felt we understood one another, without any words.

It was comforting and beautiful. It was my peace.

We would at times speak of politics or current events. I made him laugh when I found the opportunity, but mostly we sat, and that’s where our love was found.

How much I will miss his gentle smile.

He wasn’t outwardly emotional, but he loved with all he could. This was his way.

 I watched him many times look at his children, his beautiful wife and his grandkids, he appreciated all the chaos and perfection we were… that we are.

He was a man filled with the knowledge of many lands, an ear filled with classic tunes, and a man that created a family with so much Love.

He lived life his way, never conforming to what he ‘should’ do.

May we honor him by living our lives to our own music, our own original melody.

As Beethoven said, “Then let us all do what is right, strive with all our might toward the unattainable, develop as fully as we can the gifts God has given us, and never stop learning”.

With love and gratitude, may we keep his music, his heart, live-forever on. 

Love and War

If you listen to the radio, watch TV or are on social media, you know that we are the midst of turmoil with Syria. Well, let's be frank with many countries. Without actually getting into details of it, I've been quite upset about the occurrences. 

I've been saddened by the suffering and the injustices that we fellow human bring on to one another. In my heart I see everyone as one family. We all hurt the same, love deeply and want to be happy. I can't help but think of so many souls aching right now in Syria, Africa, Egypt and beyond and the absolute urgency they feel. 

I've been trying to focus on the Love and sending out positive vibrations and not so much on the negativity surrounding war. I actually read a story that confirmed that people that protest against something turn out to fuel what they are against as opposed to people that purposely create what they want to achieve. For me all things beautiful are created with Love .. So tonight I will continue to send love and light to those that need it most. 

Commitment

So, I am still doing Hot Yoga. I still do not enjoy it; as drips of sweat-beads come flying off every inch of my body.. It is umcomfortable and almost every class I feel like crying. It is however, my most favorite thing I choose to do with my time.  In 60 minutes I feel like I do, after a great therapy session. I feel completely free and capable of one day putting my leg behind my head and touching my head.  My favorite new pose is called Embryo. It is basically like a little cocoon; it is safe and I felt as if I was being reborn.  

Teachers generally like to have the yoga class have a theme. My first yoga session a few months ago was about letting go.. She kept saying throughout the class, breathe out all things that no longer serve you.  At the time I was terrified my Dad was going to die and couldn't sleep or even breathe.  I felt suffocated and then I went to class... And I breathed it all out. 

Yesterdays class was about commitment.  The ability to mentally tell our minds we are going to push our bodies to our limit.. but to accept it.  To tell ourselves we have the ability to choose where we want to go, and not let any outside factors stop us.  I committed to each pose as much as my body allowed.  In Shavasana I placed my palms down.  I have had a hard battle in this pose. When you place your palms upwards, you are giving out your good energy.  When your palms are receiving; it is a grounding pose.  My whole life I have felt like I needed to give.. In these past few weeks of class my palms are down.  It feels good to think of just Me and to want to give myself Love.  

Near the end of class I felt like a new leaf had turned and I felt my commitment to myself. I want to Love hard and not be held back. I want to make plans and be accountable for every action. I want to be wealthy and be able to help people.  I want to see my book in a bookstore.  I want to help others heal in their journey. I want to meet more like-minded people. I want to travel all over the world and see others perspectives.  Most of all I just want to laugh and enjoy the scenery. I want to let go of the aches and hug them away.. This is my commitment. 

Mi Amor

Mi Amor

My love for you was instant

My laugh has never been so loud

My heart has never felt so pure.

My eyes has never seen such a beautiful heart.

My hands fit so perfectly in yours.

My lips tingle with every single kiss.

Our adventures keep me guessing.

Our silly jokes, keep me entertained.

The way you look at me

The way you say my name..

It is all so lovely,

From the bottom of my soul.

We argue and disagree

But nothing can pull us away.

I cannot stop but utterly continue to

Fall in love with you Biû..

I love loving you out loud

My every waking day. 

Written by Marisol Graciela

The Girl in Pink

The Girl in Pink

There she sits

Eyes sad as melting snow.

Palms up- as of wanting to accept.

Love written all over her face

Little girl with the pink scarf

A butterfly elegantly swoons by

Her eyes gaze, mystified.

Glossy perky lips

Honeydew eyes

Her hair gently blows

She wrinkles her sweet little nose.

The clouds look bouncy

The sky seems content

With life all around

She looked so sad

Her eyes, giving her away.

A boy rode by on a bike

She smirks and waves

His world keeps turning

Her gaze gently goes back inside.

The little girl in Pink

With no one looking

She gazes up to the sky

With no other reason but sincere Hope.

Suddenly her world awakes

Her palms still facing up

She bows in gratitude

For the day, that lay ahead.

Tears drip

A smile appears

A lifetime of both

She knew would always be near.

Love never dies

At times it simply readjusts.

The Sun will rise

The clouds will play

The rain will fall

The trees will sway.

Tickled with Life

She skipped away.

She picked up a flower on her way.

She knew it would eventually die,

But that was also Okay.

Written by Marisol Graciela

Free-dom

Hello darlings!

Well I have been up to so much lately. It has been such a colorful time. These past few weeks I have been a little down- and it kind of caught me off guard.. But I'm in acceptance. Acceptance is a good place to be. I feel free to be me and free to my experience. I think that's a lesson I've really been needing to learn for my heart. I've really embraced having MY experience in my life and in a non ego way.. I'm really proud of me. I'm retraining certain elements and also fueling what I love about myself. 

I have become a total yogi. I am in the midst of emptying..  The idea of the practice of yoga; to be on your mat and flow into asanas, sometimes gracefully but mostly (for me) fumbling and being present in that moment in that breath. It is so special and so motivating. It inspires me to inhale all the love in this grand universe and to exhale the parts that no longer serve my purpose. 

The process is undeniably amazing. It cuts and it cries but its so refreshing and the salt from my sweat and tears taste like freedom. 

Zen Me!

Learning to stay in my zen is my new goal. 

Chaos is constant and if its not one thing it's another. 

My Dad is so sick and won't take care of himself.  I am beyond exhausted of trying to keep people together.. Tired of loving so hard abd being broken hearted. 

So instead I'm going to do everything in my power to push that Love within and have it burst out of every pour of my being. 

I only have control of my actions and reactions. 

Started hot yoga this week. It's so cleansing and I am reminded of my strentgh. 

Yoga teaches us to cure what need not be endured and endure what cannot be cured. ~B.K.S. Iyengar

Voice

Every day and every night I want to write a million thoughts.. 

And 

I don't. 

What will my voice say? What secrets will be revealed? 

I have not felt strong enough.. But it is clear to me now that it is time. 

My voice is not trembling. My thoughts are not blurred. My heart is not broken.

I am whole. 

I am strong. 

Broken Heart

When you realize your parents are three dimensional and they are real people just like you.. It kinda sucks.

Moms and dads can break your version of happy and then you must build YOUR happy.. But that doesn't mean that they still can't break your heart when your in your space of happy. Your space where lies don't exist. Where Love is the ruler and the chosen one.

I suppose I'm learning how to stay in my Love zone, my zen, and live in this chaotic world. It's fucking hard.

Tonight I wish so badly that we could have our parents with us, forever... But there's that truth, death lies within all of us. Let us enjoy our loved ones with all out chaotic-ness and happy spaces.

International Women's Day

Happy International Women's Day ladies!!

What a great time to be a woman!! I feel blessed to be able to make so many choices in my everyday life; like drive a car, vote, be able to read any book I desire, wear what I want.. We are truly lucky and that's why every women's day I like to acknowledge it and also give a little thanks to all the women before us that worked so hard, so we could have choices.

It's also important to bring light to the women in our life that inspire us in our everyday life.

A very special shout out to my beautiful Mother who is the most giving, loving, funny, and amazing Mom who teaches me so much by her Love.

Make today a wonderful day!

Transition

The definition of transition is "movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc."

It has been a year of absolute growing pains. Not all pain is bad, in fact pain is there to make us pay attention. It's a warning, a light to tell us we are in danger.

The cocoon is growing into a butterfly and will soon fly as high as she can.

The Fight

I feel like a thousand women
Fighting

Trying to stay alive

My voice feels weak
My hands not strong

The tears just pour down like puddles in a storm

I quench my breath
And yet in the struggle I feel hope

I want to survive
I don't want to stop

It hurts
It stings like a stampede

I can't lie down
I fight

I remember

I fight

I've never been more alive


Written by Marisol Graciela

Woman

I’ve looked in the mirror and have seen manyfaces. 

Sometimes my eyes were a chocolate brown and other timea clear shade of honey.

My hair has changed, from long to short, with bangs orslicked back.

My outfits have evolved; from flannel pj’s to a low cutblouse.

My lips have been red, pink, nude or glossed.

My eyes have sometimes looked straight into me, whileother moments a blur has appeared.

Some days I look and see that young girl that believedin the illusion and fantasies of life …

While other days I see the life that has lived withinme. The amount of suffering my heart has ached.

Nights have shown the laughter and the glee that I havefelt.

The excitement of meeting the love of your life, or theperfect evening with amazing friends.

Mornings can reflect the long night or even the gift ofa new brand new day.

After all the reflections I have been able to see, Ifeel one element has always been the same…

The woman in me is alive and thriving, even when themess is so eloquently splattered.

She lives and breathes every breath inside.

She understands the beauty of the aches, the illusionsthat we create.

She is there behind my hazel eyes in times when theywant to turn blue.

She comprehends the pains, the struggles and the helpsme fight the good fight.

I’m neither one reflection nor the other; I’m all ofthem, on every single day.

I am not defined by the darkness, but rather the lightthat sparkles from deep inside.

My worth is valued not by a man, nor a career; or evenmy past.

 It is knowing that I can be all, and none of thosethings; some days all at once.

 She is Me, and I am Her.

 Now that is truly a sight.

Written by Marisol Graciela

Evolution

Once it happens


It is too late to go back

It is like an earthquake


All the planning- yet never truly prepared

You cry


You sleep


Only to wake up to feel it all over again

You pray for silence


You wish it would die



You wash your past with vodka and wine


You question whether you could be that girl, once again


Lovers come back


You begin to question the remains

You turn right- you look left


You end up at the opposite side

When change appears


When the lights shine bright


It is hard to remember the darkness inside


A new pair of lips


A new kind of peace


The way he listens, when you speak


His hand gently on your hips


It is amazing how you forget the simplest things


The most beautiful changes are those least expected


When all you need is a glimpse of life

It shines so bright


So lovely- indeed


It is hard not to feel blessed

So happy inside


An evolution has brightened its colors into the soul

It lives so beautifully in my core

I can’t help but feel like maybe today is the most beautiful day in the world.

Written by Marisol Graciela

Darkness meets Light

Darkness.

The bleakness haunts me.

The ache.

Oh the utter ache.

My breath begins to race and my heart doesn’t break…

Because it is already broken.

My eyes begin to swell.

I instinctively fight it.

I try to remember that I am in the letting go.

Tears fall down my cheeks, perfectly down the creases that seems to have to be created by them.

I open my eyes.

I see light.

I feel like a pink pair of socks; happy and warm.

I smile.

The dark and the light have met.

They became one.

I am.

Written by Marisol Graciela