Commitment

So, I am still doing Hot Yoga. I still do not enjoy it; as drips of sweat-beads come flying off every inch of my body.. It is umcomfortable and almost every class I feel like crying. It is however, my most favorite thing I choose to do with my time.  In 60 minutes I feel like I do, after a great therapy session. I feel completely free and capable of one day putting my leg behind my head and touching my head.  My favorite new pose is called Embryo. It is basically like a little cocoon; it is safe and I felt as if I was being reborn.  

Teachers generally like to have the yoga class have a theme. My first yoga session a few months ago was about letting go.. She kept saying throughout the class, breathe out all things that no longer serve you.  At the time I was terrified my Dad was going to die and couldn't sleep or even breathe.  I felt suffocated and then I went to class... And I breathed it all out. 

Yesterdays class was about commitment.  The ability to mentally tell our minds we are going to push our bodies to our limit.. but to accept it.  To tell ourselves we have the ability to choose where we want to go, and not let any outside factors stop us.  I committed to each pose as much as my body allowed.  In Shavasana I placed my palms down.  I have had a hard battle in this pose. When you place your palms upwards, you are giving out your good energy.  When your palms are receiving; it is a grounding pose.  My whole life I have felt like I needed to give.. In these past few weeks of class my palms are down.  It feels good to think of just Me and to want to give myself Love.  

Near the end of class I felt like a new leaf had turned and I felt my commitment to myself. I want to Love hard and not be held back. I want to make plans and be accountable for every action. I want to be wealthy and be able to help people.  I want to see my book in a bookstore.  I want to help others heal in their journey. I want to meet more like-minded people. I want to travel all over the world and see others perspectives.  Most of all I just want to laugh and enjoy the scenery. I want to let go of the aches and hug them away.. This is my commitment.